How to impress/charm her on the first date in Japan?
Learn from the Interview!
Taking care of her dress or hair-makeup.
She does dress-up for you, she does set her hair pretty for you,
she puts makeup taking the time a lot FOR YOU!
Please give her some break time for going to the lady's room, retouching makeup, or something.
Even if she doesn't return from the lady's room for 15 min,
don't be irritated.
She wanna be her best-looking for you based on her standard.
Ask about her and let her talk.
Even if you wanna impress her by your story, like how great you are, how funny you are, keep it in mind the ratio of 6:4.
4 you speak. 6 she speaks.
Japanese girls tend to be a little shy.
Also we Japanese are generally not good at speech because Japanese education doesn't emphasize good speech.
In our education, we have basically required just being passive and sitting quietly in the classroom. And just needed to answer only yes or no, that kind of stuff.
You know what, almost all Japanese students who are studying abroad are completely overwhelmed by non-Japanese students because they are so active and good at speaking in the classroom.
If you ask her a lot of questions, it means you are interested in her. Why doesn't she feel happy about it?
Offer to carry her bag.
Have you ever seen some Japanese guys are carrying their girls' bag?
I know it looks strange or looks not cool.
That is kinda gentlemanship in Japan for some girls.
I don't think anytime you should do that.
But, if her bag looks a bit heavy for her,
or if she wears high-heels,just try to offer to carry her bag.
Of course, she would say "No thank you, I'm ok."
Just ask her again, whether she REALLY doesn't need help.
Regardless of actually to carry, you earn some points by that offer.
Who Should Pay On A First Date?
"I'd like him to pay." (Rika 22)
"I usually think it shows if he likes me. So, I hope he does." (Yoko 26)
"Of course, he should! because it's the first date, right?" (Reika 23)
“He pays the most of that and I pay the coffee… something like that?” (Misato 28)
“The first date, right? If he doesn't pay it I feel sad because it means I don't deserve it. Only the case I asked him out, I pay. ” (Kanae 30)
“Depends on the person?” (Miki 25)
”If it's very expensive something, I feel bad for him. But, if he planned it he should pay, I think.” (Sae 32)
“I basically prefer to split it, but, only on the first date, I prefer him to pay all. Because the first date is a special moment, isn't it?” (Asami 33)
Guys, this is about the first date.
As they say, it is your first chance to show enthusiasm for her.
Japanese girls mostly think it shows how much he values her.
No need to go fancy restaurant, but, pay it
Free food or drink doesn't matter, she just wants to find how valuable she is for you!
Hug? Kiss on the first date? maybe not?
“Light hug, maybe? Kiss, noooo, too fast. ” (Rika 22)
“Hug is ok. Kiss, after a few dates and after "kokuhaku"? Because I don't know if he is serious or just wanna have fun.” (Yoko 26)
“Depends on the person, but, I think after become an official couple.” (Reika 23)
“If I had a really good day with him, I'll hug at the end of the date. And even if we like each other and we'd like to kiss, I think we should postpone it to the 3rd date, it makes the first kiss more romantic! ” (Misato 28)
“A friendly hug is acceptable if I feel he is a good person. Kiss, of course, only after we become a committed couple. ” (Kanae 30)
“If he tries to kiss me on the first date, I think he is not serious about me.
On the other hand, I met a foreign guy,
he asked me 'Can I hug you?'.
It was respectful and I came to like him.” (Miki 25)
”If he is super handsome, why not? At least in case we had a really good time on the date and we convinced 2nd date, I would.” (Sae 32)
“Hug, welcome! But, if he hold back it because he'd love to respect Japanese standard, that's lovely and I agree with it. Kiss, ummm, if we had a sort of great chemistry?” (Asami 33)
We Japanese have not "hug custom"
even with close friends or with family.
So, in Japan, parents don't hug each other, so,
it means it only happens between official lovers generally.
But, of course,
we know that people hug each other as a nice greeting with their friends or family or even a neighbor in other countries.
So, most of Japanese accept it in order to be nice or polite unless it is forcibly.
Even an old man in a remote village who has never met any foreigners in his life will accept your hug with an embarrassed bitter smile.
About the kiss on the first date,
you know it's debatable in even western countries.
And in Japan as well.
Someone who is aggressive about physical contact says she wanna kiss on the first date in order to figure out if there is chemistry. Someone says she wanna do it within a couple of dates.
It's different in each person, but, Japanese girls are relatively conservative than western girls.
the theme of this column is
"how to impress/charm a Japanese girl"!!
If you want to boost your value, wait for it at least until the 3rd date. Preferably until you guys become official BF/GF.
If you hide this intention to her and just be patient,
she might worry she is not enough attractive to you.
Because she knows that the non-Japanese guys usually do kiss at an early phase in their country.
So, here is a great technique!
Tell her honestlyyour steadfast patience about kissing her.
"Honestly, I wanna kiss you, but, I wanna wait because I don't want you to think of me as a shallow guy.
And because I want you to know how special you are for me."
Can you imagine how much her heart is grabbed by this?
After the date, text her on the day.
If you forget it,