The most unique yet the most important Japanese Dating-culture "Kokuhaku (告白)". Here are examples and tips…
Japanese dating keyword “Kokuhaku (告白)” means “confess your love” or “declare your love”.
If we describe it simply, although not for marriage the act is similar to a marriage proposal.
Guys determine their will "I want her to be my girlfriend!" and prepare the situation and the words for the official relationship proposal. Sounds similar to the marriage proposal, right?
The major premise of successful "Kokuhaku"
"clearly", "romantically", "face to face".
He asked me "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?".
No way! Why he to me!?
He said, "Maybe I like you…".
OMG, I don't wanna be his girlfriend if he only has such to me.
He said, "Anyway, let's be BF/GF, ok?"
Nooo, please don't me such a …
it turned me off completely.
I felt like he's making fool of me.
２：Timing is very important.
He seemed to be in a rush.
Even though we've dated twice a week for a month
he didn't do "Kokuhaku (告白)". So, I thought we were just friends, and then I moved on.
GOOD & BAD EXAMPLE:
But, he didn't give up and was waiting for me as the closest friend.And he did "Kokuhaku (告白)" 3 times even though I said "No".
His dedication made me happy.
Like a speed marriage, there are some extreme quick "Kokuhaku (告白)"couples. But, you know, you should figure out at least a few dates whether you guys are happy to become a committed couple.
It is common that a man does it after a few dates.
The average is between 3rd date and a month.
Depends on the couple.
If you guys have great chemistry from the beginning, maybe you should do it on the 3rd date.
If you guys took it slow, but you guys feel certain liking each other maybe you should do it on the mensiversary day.
Wherever romantic places.
A lovely romantic restaurant,
Great view place,
Beautiful beach or park, etc…
Or if you do "Kokuhaku (告白)" at your place or in your car,
do tidy and clean and set something romantic.
If you guys are long-distance or some reasons make it difficult to meet in person, you can do it via e-mail or something,
Text "Kokuhaku (告白)"tends to let her feel it light, so, it is a little difficult to impress your serious feelings to her.
At least do it on video chat!
Not too relax. Neat, tidy, clean.
And suitable for the place.
It's not always, but, just in case, you guys possibly do the first kiss because after your "Kokuhaku (告白)"succeed you guys become BF/GF. So, care about your clean breath and nice skin.
Refer to the survey result "What type of appearance Japanese girls don't like"!
Tell her about her charm points, why you like her.
Tell her how much you think of her seriously.
Tell her about your feelings when you are together with her.
And tell her that you want to be with her always and more and more.
"(Name)san no koto ga suki desu. Tsukiatte kudasai."
"(Name), I really like you.
Will you start a relationship with me?"
"(Name)san, boku no kanojyo ni natte kudasai."
"(Name). Will you be my girlfriend?"
Similar to marriage proposal situation, but, you don't need kneeling. Just gaze at her eyes straight.
Some guys do that while laughing and pretending like a bit joke for covering his embarrassing feeling, but, mostly girls are disappointed about such behavior. Definitely, "No".
I agree. Just be serious and romantic!
My friend's boyfriend wrote a handwriting love letter when he did "Kokuhaku (告白)" to her.
In this 21 century!
Very sweet, and romantic plan, isn't it?
After "Kokuhaku (告白)"
It's the same as a marriage proposal.
Probably she says "Yes!" right after you.
Possibly she says "Thank you. Please give me a little time to think."
Unfortunately, she possibly says "I'm sorry."
If she said "Yes"
and you became an official couple,
and if she gazes on your eyes deep and long at the end of the date, maybe it's a sign to the first kiss.
And if your "Kokuhaku (告白)"succeeded, it means commitment. You guys are an official couple, so, you must quit flirting with other girls.
If she said "need time to think",
you shouldn't be disappointed.
Things what you have to do is entertain her and enjoy a great date for letting her think
"I wanna be his girlfriend" later.
Even if she said "I'm sorry",
don't be upset. Never make a bad mood or sad mood.
If you do that you guys cannot be even friends anymore. Like I introduced a girl's "Kokuhaku (告白)" experience above if you keep being the best guy friend of her and if you never give up, maybe there is a next chance.
In any case, don't forget texting her after you got home.
”Kyou ha hontou ni arigatou! Korekara mo yoroshiku ne."
English doesn't have the expression "Korekara mo yoroshiku ne",
so, you can add something else such as,
"Thank you so much today! I can't sleep too excited!"?
"Thank you so much today! You made my best day!"?
or something like that?
Good Luck guys!
Many Japanese women know that "Kokuhaku (告白)" is Japanese specific Dating-culture and many foreign guys don't do it.
It would boost your value greatly anyway!