スポンサーリンク

Top 5 tips to date a Japanese woman

How to get a Japanese girlfriend?
Ask a Japanese woman!



スポンサーリンク

Know about the Japanese woman's character

If you want to date a Japanese woman, you must know what their character is like. Because obviously, it's far different from western girls or some other countries'.
And if you research and believe the stereotype or some information provided by foreign guys, that's probably wrong.

Hey, wait!
The story from a foreign guy who actually dated or married a Japanese woman is a true story, isn't it?

YES and NO. I don't think it's a good idea to believe it if you want to succeed in your happy relationship with a Japanese woman.

I read/heard so many experiences stories from foreign guys, however, many of the stories seem prejudiced and misunderstanding.
Some stories are true and I agree with them, but, unfortunately, many stories are just complaining because they failed their happy love. Just a backbite.
Foreign guys who are having a successful relationship with a Japanese woman rarely post their stories on the internet.
You know what I mean.

CHECK !!

Learn Japanese culture especially DATING-CULTURE

Do you know what "kokuhaku (告白)" is?
It's the biggest and symbolic difference in the dating -culture between Japan and other countries.
Of course, you must learn about it.
If you do "kokuhaku (告白)" properly, you would be able to make the Japanese girl moved, for sure!

Because foreign guys who don't do "kokuhaku(告白)" usually make Japanese women stressed out due to that.

Some Japanese women who know this dating-culture gap
are annoyed.

Some Japanese women who don't know this are always extremely confused, misunderstanding, or hurt by foreign guys' no-kokuhaku behavior.

Japanese dating keyword "kokuhaku (告白)" means "confess your love" or "declare your love".

In Japan, there is no "just dating, but no commitment yet" status.
If you are interested in her you can ask her out, you can enjoy a friendly date with her.
If you want to be romantic with her you have to do "kokuhaku" for that.
Commonly, after a few friendly dates, men do "kokuhaku" if he wants to be with her more.
"kokuhaku"is commitment.

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Speak Japanese even though just beginner level

You know, in Japan, there is a language barrier in the relationship.
Most Japanese can not speak English, that's true.
If you speak Japanese, of course, you make Japanese people impressed very much.

However, the Japanese language is one of the most difficult languages in the world.
So, actually many foreign people cannot speak Japanese even though they live in Japan for years.
Especially in big cities such as Tokyo, Osaka…,
people are getting used to foreigners somewhat and they spoil foreigners by Japanese kindness, therefore, life without the Japanese language is kinda possible.

On the other hand, many Japanese people think that foreigners who are not tourists should learn Japanese-language.
In the depth of their mind, they don't like that a foreigner doesn't make effort to learn Japanese-language. I'm sorry.
If you imagine a foreigner in your country, this naturally makes sense, right?

In fact, if you don't speak Japanese at all, your chances of date with a Japanese woman are obviously decreased.

But, the Japanese language is crazy difficult!!!
"Kanji (漢字)" is too difficult. Even super beginner level conversation is difficult… hopeless!

You don't need to be able to read the Japanese letter from the beginning.
The important point is if you have serious enthusiasm to learn or speak Japanese. Don't worry too much.

Japanese women know most foreign guys cannot speak Japanese.
That's why, even if it's very beginner-level, speaking Japanese means a lot! You should dare to do it!
She would be impressed by you, I guarantee.
Also, it expands your chances of date with Japanese women.

I recommend two websites
NHK WORLD-JAPAN and
Japanese-Lesson.com
for your self-learning of Japanese.

And, you can try online classes as well.

CHECK !!


Read the air as like Jedi do

This is not only for "dating in Japan".
This is a general requirement in Japanese society.

Especially, Japanese women are shy than foreign women. And they tend to refrain from their assertion.
The reason is the education tradition.

Westerner seems to be educated:
The shyness should be a bad thing, and the clear assertion should be praised.
On the other hand, Japanese people are educated:
"Hajirai(恥じらい)"= shyness is a kinda virtue, and self-assertion or standing out is not agreeable in society.
This is just a difference in values between Japan and other countries.

(I personally think both have good and bad.
The mix is better.)

The communication of Japanese people is indirect and subtle because we always want to prioritize others or the group than ourselves, that's also from traditional education.
Therefore, that's why Japanese women tend to not express their feelings.
Nevertheless, "no word, no expression" doesn't mean "no feeling, no will".
She expects you to sense/infer and understand what she thinks.

Oh, no!! 😱

I know… sorry about that.

That's the Japanese "Kuuki two yomu (空気を読む)"or "Sassuru (察する)" = "Read the air".

English countries have a similar expression
"read between the lines", right?

If you are not Jedi, maybe you cannot read the air or her mind. But, you still have a little hope, because, she always gives you some hints for you at some certain timings.
Attention to her subtle sign, and use your great reasoning power in order to know the truth behind.
And, ask! ask! ask! Ask her 10 times than your usual until she confesses her true intention.
If you become a great Jedi master for her, she might be fall in love with you. Good luck!

CHECK !!


Go to THE RIGHT PLACE to meet them

Regardless of men or women, regardless of nationality,
there are two types of people.
One is an easy slut player type, another one is decent people.
In your country as well, right?

If you are NOTseeking decent Japanese women, go to some bars or clubs where many many Gaijin(=foreigners) gather.
You can easily find "Gaijin hunters" there.
For "Gaijin hunters", foreign guys are merely their accessory.
They are not interested in who you are, their point is that the guy is a foreigner.
According to the data from the Japan Ministry of justice, foreign resident's rates are only 2.1% in the whole of Japan.
They satisfy their vanity by getting a minority model accessory because they can stand-out if it is not a common mass-produced thing.

If you don't need a decent woman and "Gaijin-hunter" is good enough for you, I want to give you some advice about that case.

- Keep it in mind, the risk of STD is pretty high.

- Some Gaijin-hunters' hidden purposes are "pregnant" and "marriage". They want to get the label "International marriage" and "Mixed-blood child" because that's not a mass-produced thing in Japan.

Be careful in their trap.

"Gaijin hunters" exist not only at such a bar or clubs but also at a cafe, international event, or everywhere, so, be careful.

It sounds not very easy to meet decent Japanese women. Where should I go?

Yeah, it's kinda not easy.
Finding easy girls is easy but finding decent girls is not so easy in your country as well, is it?

As additional information,
while it's quite common in other countries that a guy speak to a stranger if he is interested in her at a cafe or bar or anywhere, it is not very common in Japan. Generally, that is the playboy's job in Japan.
So, if a guy does it, in many cases a Japanese woman possibly assumes he is "Charai (チャラい)", "Chara-o (チャラ男)".

JapaneseMeaning
"Charai (チャラい)"shallow, player, insincere…
"Chara-o (チャラ男)"shallow-man, playboy, insincere-man…

Thus, the most natural situation for meeting a decent woman is to join a Japanese community, such as work, friends, local events.
It means "to follow the way how the Japanese decent guys meet decent women" is simply the best and natural way.
Make sense?

1:"Friend's friend".
  That kind of group situation is the best.
  Make Japanese friends which lead to "friend's friend"!

2:"Meetup" is a good tool to meet Japanese people in a natural way.
  Join some of the local events! (BUT, not an international event
  BECAUSE there are too many "Gaijin-Hunters" in an international event).
  Go on a Japanese local event.
  Highly recommendation is a consistent event like weekly activity.
  Not a one-time event. If you join the same event every time,
  it's easier for you to be familiar with the members
  and you will have a chance to talk with a girl naturally.

3:Become a regular customer
  at a local cafe, restaurant, gym…

4:Langage exchange
  I think it's good and bad, but it's one of the ways.
  Highly likely, you can meet Japanese someone who wanna learn English.
  On the other hand, there are another type of "Gaijin-Hunters" who
  take advantage of you for a mere free English teacher.
  Also, "language exchange" should be "language exchange",
  you know what I mean?
  You should not use it for another purpose such as girl-hunt.
  Some Japanese girls dislike such behavior.

About Dating-app/site :
(my opinion based on experiences)
Some apps are mostly "Gaijin- hunters", such as tinder.
Some sites are mostly decoy and fake, such as Japan-Cupid.

I posted a little more detail about the recommended Dating app/site. Please check it out.

CHECK !!

Summary
【Top 5 tips to date a Japanese woman】

1:Know about the Japanese woman's character

2:Learn Japanese culture especially DATING-CULTURE

3:Speak Japanese even though just beginner level

4:Read the air as like Jedi do

5:Go to THE RIGHT PLACE to meet them